Is THIS Bliss?!

Lorina's Blog

I followed my bliss… and got lost.

First post. Intimidating. Where do I start? How is it that the woman who can’t shut up can’t think of what to say?

It’s like staring at a blank canvas. Except I usually have an idea of what I want to put on a canvas before I stick it on the easel. I guess a little bit about me would be in order?

For those who don’t know me, I’m Lorina. I’m 39 years old, married to Fritz for almost ten years. We have seven cats (really, only 3.5 cats apiece… we’re not crazy) and a one-eyed Pekingese named Beavis. We live in what was formerly a little mom-n-pop corner store in a little mom-n-pop town that you’ve probably never heard of.

I bought the house about 15 or so years ago, when I was a fresh faced (and really dumb) 24 year old. I’d been selling cute little arts & craft stuff at local fairs, and thought it would be cool to have my own store. And it was cool, except I didn’t have customers. Turns out they’re pretty important. So after about a year of barely eking by, I closed up shop and became a web developer, a skill I’d learned while trying to find customers online, instead of relying on people from the little mom-n-pop town.

I was a web developer for a few years. I had some minor success online with some of my own published sites, mostly humor based. Then realized that my geek-knowledge was becoming obsolete. I couldn’t keep up with the current trends in web design. And I was so stressed out that I slipped a disc in my jaw. Seriously. I clenched my teeth so frickin’ hard that dislocated my jaw. That’s when I knew it was time for a change.

While recovering from my jaw problems, I became addicted to watching Emergency Vets on Animal Planet, and decided to become a vet tech. And I did THAT for a few years, until my parents passed away. I’ll get into that more at another time because it’s a long and painful story.

Let’s condense it a bit… In a little less than two years’ time, I lost my Mom, my job, my Dad and then one of my cats.

It sounds really crazy, I know, but it was the cat who really threw me for a loop. Losing my job was a blessing. Losing Mom and Dad sucked beyond anything imaginable, but sweet gentle Fergus was only two and a half years old. He was a great big healthy moose of a cat, and it was shocking that he could go downhill so quickly. And I was supposed to know about taking care of sick animals!

Guilt. Depression. Remorse. Helplessness. More guilt. Anxiety. More depression. Entire bags of Butterfingers. And weight gain.

I’d had enough by December of 2010, and decided to DO something about it. Start reinventing myself. And that’s where I am now. Thirty pounds lighter. A lot more active. Still trying to figure out who I am and what I’m supposed to do.

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  1. I’m sorry, but I’m glad I’m not the only one who is running up on the ass end of 40, and still doesn’t know what I want to do in my life. But I prefer to think of it as not so much getting myself lost, but rather taking the long way around life. The scenery is better this way, anyway, dammit.

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