Is THIS Bliss?!

Lorina's Blog

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What I hate about The Biggest Loser…

It’s inspiring, don’t get me wrong. It’s wonderful to see people change their lives. But, like all so-called reality shows, it’s not realistic.

For starters, you’re going to get people who look at the contestants screaming, crying, sweating, falling down, and puking, and think, “There’s no way in HELL I’m going to put my body through that!”

I know I wouldn’t! Well, the sweating, I’d do. In abundance. But I’m not into punishment. And that’s how The Biggest Loser makes exercise look on television. Torture. Punishment for being gluttonous and slothful. It doesn’t have to be that way. You can enjoy what you’re doing and get fit. Zumba is lots of fun. Running is fun. Sports are fun. The Warrior Dash was buttloads of fun!

An overly energetic fit person yelling at you is never fun. Ever.

They barely touch on the food aspect of losing weight. And that’s the most important. Getting the right nutrients, finding foods that are healthy and satisfying and tasty. All I see is a bunch of corny product placements with bad acting.

And worst of all, the weigh-ins. Where people beat themselves up because they didn’t lose 15 pounds in a week. Then you get real-life people thinking that’s ideal or expected. People who say, “I have a wedding coming up in two weeks that I’ve known about for six month, but I didn’t do anything about it, and I wanna lose 30 pounds by then! I can do it! The Biggest Loser people lose way more than that!”

Most people shouldn’t lose any more than one pound a week, more if you have a lot weight to lose, but you shouldn’t try for more than two pounds a week without a doctor’s supervision. If you only have a few pounds to lose, less than that. Just ten vanity pounds? Go for a half pound a week.

It’s not an all or nothing situation. You don’t need to spend hours every day in the gym to get fit. You don’t need to starve yourself. All you need to do is make small, sustainable changes. Sure, losing a half pound a week doesn’t sound very satisfying, but it’s still 26 pounds in a year. Or if you start now, about 20 pounds before the next swimsuit season starts. And what does it take to lose a half pound a week? Eating just 250 less calories than your body needs to maintain your weight each day.

That’s a little more than the amount of calories in a 20 ounce bottle of soda. Swap out that soda for a water, and you’re good to go. Skip the bagel at the weekly meeting at work. Don’t get fries with that. Cut the candy bars. Just little changes. Or, if you’re not active, get a little more active. Take the dog for a long slow walk, and you’ll probably burn at least 250 calories in an hour.

Little changes. That’s all you need. No crying, screaming or puking required.

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Confession: I’m Sad about All My Children

Yep. I’ve been watching it the past few months. It started innocently enough. I’d have the tv on during the midday news, and then watch Seinfeld afterward, and I’d inadvertently catch a few minutes here or there of All My Children before catching myself. “Ack! I can’t watch a soap!”

I was never really INTO the show. My mom used to watch it when I was a kid, so during the summers or on sick days (and with my allergies and slackertude, there were a lot of them), I’d watch it with her. I knew the characters, and the storyline typically progressed so slowly that I could miss weeks or months on end without really missing any action.

I had a bit of a girlie-crush on Erica. As a tiny little brunette myself, having a tiny little brunette be the big sex symbol was encouraging. I’d never be a buxom blonde. But I could still be glamorous. I didn’t want to be a conniving bitch, but I did dream of being able to wear beautiful clothes and live in a mansion.

Life didn’t quite turn out that way. I did amass a closet full of beautiful, flashy clothes… but it’s hard to find occasions to wear sequins and satin and high heels when you have a jeans and t-shirt and sneakers lifestyle.

I don’t know how it happened. How I started watching again. I think it might have been while I was working on a painting, and I was too into my work to change the channel. And Erica was kidnapped by a crazed fan who’d had plastic surgery to look like her. Erica. I knew Erica. And Jesse and Angie… I knew them, too! Holy shit… Angie has NOT AGED one bit! How the hell did she manage that? And TAD!!! I remember Tad! He’s older, greyer, but somehow cuter and more lovable. Who are all these other people?

I found myself sucked into the storyline. As ridiculous and Weekly World News worthy as it was. I was sucked in. I just wanted poor Tad to get laid. I didn’t care if it was with Dixie or Cara… that boy just needed some boom-boom. I wanted to see what was up with Erica’s doppleganger and whether or not David was involved. I wanted JR to wise the hell up, or for someone to kick his ass. I cheered for Marissa and Bianca as they hooked up. I worried about Angie and how she’d react to finding out that her baby wasn’t her baby, but was the baby abandoned by her babysitter. I wondered who else would come back from the dead.

And I literally laughed out loud when Sarah Michelle Gellar made her cameo appearance this week, being admitted to the hospital claiming to be Erica’s daughter, and saying she saw vampires, and had been seeing them since before they got popular. Easter eggs. I love them.

In about a half hour, the final episode will air. And I’m a little sad about it. Yes, it’s marshmallow fluff. Yes, it’s ridiculous. But it’s a great escape from reality, and having the Chandlers and Martins and Kanes in the background my entire life, they feel like family. Now we get to see if they’re going to wrap things up, or leave us with a great big cliffhanger…

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Dancing with the Role Models

I’m still flabbergasted over the hullabaloo some uptight wee-wee heads are making over Chaz Bono on Dancing with the Stars. He’s a dude. He looks like a dude, he lives like a dude, he dances like a dude.

But what will the CHILDREN think?!

First off, I’m not so sure that DWTS is children’s programming. You have women wearing beaded dental floss and shirtless men bumpin’ and grindin’ all over each other. You have Bruno gushing over the sexuality and sensuality of each dancer. Innuendos abound. It’s not Sesame Street.

But, you know, heaven forbid if your children find out that there’s people who live differently from their mommy and daddy in this world. Knowing what else is out there doesn’t mean your kids are going to decide to live that kind of life.

I was probably around seven or so when I first became aware, or as aware as a seven year old can be, that some people were gay or transgendered. And that exposure came from the movie The Rocky Horror Picture Show. Yes, the sweet transvestite, Frank Furter. You may not agree with the way Chaz is living his life, but as far as I know, he’s never killed a former lover and served the remains to party guests, not has he used part of that lover’s brain for his new created-from-scratch-in-just-seven-days perfect man who wears gold undies. Chaz never froze anyone with a Medusa Transducer and had them perform in a cabaret show.

What has Chaz done? Made the best out of his situation with dignity and grace, letting himself be the lightening rod of hate because his message was important. All in all, I think Chaz is a pretty fantastic role model!

The argument some have made is that girls who are tomboys will think that they’re supposed to be men because Chaz became a man. I’ve always identified myself as a tomboy. I pretended to be a boy when I was little, and wore my long hair tucked up into a baseball cap, because I enjoyed doing boy things, like playing Star Wars, and I’d much rather be Boba Fett than Princess Leia. As soon as anyone saw my waist-length brown hair, I was cast as the princess. Boring!!! But thirty years later, I’m pretty happy being a girl. Never had an urge to surgically alter my gender.

I don’t think anyone should pick their role models from a tv show about dancing, but… I’m pretty sure that Hope Solo is a bit of a tomboy, too. So there’s another role model for girls who are a little more rough and tumble, if that’s what you’re worried about. And if you want someone incredible and inspiring… JR Martinez! A hero in every sense of the word.

It’s just preposterous that people make this big of a stink over Chaz as well as Carson Kressley… How can you hate someone for loving who they love?! They’re supposedly so “morally wrong,” but I don’t recall any stink being made over stars who were famous for having sex tapes being on the show. Or a certain unwed teenage mom. Or a basketball star who likes to fight with the fans in the audience. Nope. All those are healthy role models. Just like hateful and ignorant parents.

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